joie de viv-re

Friday, December 30, 2005

Two thousand and five. A year of memories.

This year has been pretty much a rollercoaster ride. This year has seen me gone through so much change in my life. I have gained so much. I have grown. But sometimes, I feel I have just simply wasted a year of my life away. I have not done as much as I would like to have to. And the only person I can blame is myself. This year saw me admitted into hospital for the first time. For a skin problem which I will never know about. What happened to me, I still have no idea. The year has also seen me take on the responsibility of becoming a Cadet Inspector of Zhonghua NPCC Unit. Giving my best and my all in a bid to make the unit succeed. It has seen me struggle without the determination in my studies. Scrapping through my promotional examinations. Having a jam packed holidays. Coordinating an Area Aventure Training Camp. Children's camp. Being the media man for a Youth Camp. Going down for Campcraft Trainings. Going for my Church Camp. And the final 3 trainings of the year. What a year.

Last night, I went to the airport to receive my aunts back from their holiday to Korea. And we were waiting in the arrival hall, and the place was pretty congested with Koreans. And i noticed this young girl. No more than 3 years of age, her face was chubby, and looked around with her eyes wide in intent. And within the short span of 5 minutes. She played, stared, rubbed her eyes, but most of all, looked so comfortable and content in the arms of her parents.

Family. The ties that bind.

The year has seen my family growing closer. With one member serving the nation, we have learned what it means to treasure and cherish. And I truly thank God for bringing us together. Other than Jesus Christ, there is nothing in the world I would rather have than them. But often times, we forget that the people closest to us are the people whom we treat without respect and concern. We forget that they are the ones in this world who love, care and fight for us the most. And we don't treat them in a way which reflects on our appreciation and gratitude to everything which they have done for us. In the coming new year, I want to love my family more. And to cherish them for as long as God will give them to me. And never regret anything.

Here's to all, having a fantastic year two thousand and six ahead.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:11 pm

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Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmas is about God giving Himself to us through Jesus' life with us and death for us.

With the commercialism in the world today, Christmas has become probably the event of the year. The time when our wants are met with lavish gifts from loved ones and friends, all done in the name of spreading festive joy. There is no wrong in that. However, the true meaning of Christmas has been lost. But what is the true meaning of Christmas.

Christmas is about gifts. It is about the two most important gifts one could have. Christmas is an occasion when we thank God that He revealed Himself to us through Jesus and gave us all eternal life if we believe in the name of His Son. That is why I celebrate Christmas. Not for the presents. Or the parties. They are but supplements to the best gift we have.

For me, this year I spent Christmas with my family. No big parties. Or any special event to remember. Just a quiet day. When we enjoyed the company we could bring to each other. To thank God for giving us each other. Going to church service. Christmas lunch. And a shopping trip in the evening. Quiet, uneventful, but spent with the most important and cherished people in my life.

Blessed Christmas to all, and Here's to a great year ahead.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
12:05 am

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

Having the strength to get up, when we fall.

Today was one of those few days when I returned home from training feeling drained. Not so much physically. But more so emotionally. The reasons though, I would definitely keep them to myself. For me, today was a setback, but also a chance to reevaluate my commitment to the unit. I felt like giving up. Just throwing away all the responsibilities which come with my rank. Yes. My rank has the word 'Cadet' in front of the 'Inspector'. Nothing like the 9 months Officer Cadets go through in their National Service before they get commissioned.

But it has been my dream, and my passion to see my unit amongst the best. That expectation of both myself and the people in my unit will never change. Whether we have a bad day or not. I am just going to work harder, to ensure I graduate knowing that I had done my best. I guess, I can only do my part, the rest will be left to the people around me. Today, was the best example of the Instructors fighting for the unit, which did not want to fight for itself. Disappointing, yet true.

Moving on, it is barely one week away from the new year. Time has passed so quickly this year. Enjoying my time when I never did a piece of work. Skipped classes at random. But never really finding a true place in my new school. Never building the same kind of friendships I cherish. Maybe its the Junior College lifestyle. Maybe its the Nanyang culture. But I guess, most of all, it is me. The next year will be absolutely crazy. With the foundation for this year not built. It is going to be one journey I want to get through as quickly as possible.

With the new year in sight, it would be appropriate for me to list my resolutions for the year. Not that I think I would keep them though.

1) Study diligently. Studying has never been my passion and interest. And I have pretty much smoked through the pass 5 years of my academic life. But it would be a resolution not just because the Advanced Levels are coming, but also because God has given me this chance to study. And to study at this level. The only way I could do justice would be to study diligently. Much more easily said than done.

I had wanted to start on number two. But, I think I will keep to just one. If i can fulfill this resolution, it would please me greatly. The ball is in my court. To cherish, or to regret for a lifetime.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:49 pm

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Friday, December 16, 2005

It is not about whether we can. It is about whether we want.

Going down for Campcraft Team Training today was pretty much a heartwarming experience. Having blogged about hoping to see my unit among the best. Today's training would be a fantastic start to build upon. Having started our trainings not too far back, we had seemed to be in danger of becoming unmotivated. And the team seemed to have lacked the passion and drive to succeed. And the Instructors worried.

The training today did dispel my fears, and renew my hope in them to push our unit to success. Because the drive was there. The constant pushing and craving to improve on their last try. The sense of urgency to better their last timing. The determination to go on despite the scorching heat. The spirit was there, with smiles all around. At the end of the day. I hope that each of them learned a much more important lesson than what any campcraft session could provide. Definitely not the neat lashings. Or the pegging. It was the fact that we have a team. That can acheive anything. It is only whether we wanted. And today, they wanted to succeed.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
7:06 pm

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

My Passion.

Last night, a friend asked me a question which i guess many people have in their minds. Why do I actually bother to get myself so involved in NPCC. Considering the fact that i will not get much out of it. Our training allowance of $2 is measely to say the least. It cannot even cover our meal or transport allowance. Worse still, it is capped at 54 trainings a year. A number which i am very sure I have surpassed. Which to me is ironic. Because people who commit themselves more are actually being penalised. Moreover, I cannot understand why Cadet Leuitenants actually get a allowance more than double of ours. Secondly, I do not get any CCA points out of this. All I would acquire at the end of my service would be a letter of appreciation. But there is so much more to it.

I told my friend something simple. It is the passion and dream to see Zhonghua NPCC Unit among the best in Singapore one day. And for me, that is where I work towards. The goal which I have set for myself ever since I donned the rank. The silver peep and bar are not for people who cannot commit their time and effort. Not for those who have mediocre dedication. It is for those who have a dream. And have the passion, dedication and commitment to pursue and fulfil their dreams. He did not require me to explain further. I have half a year left. To give of my best and to propel my unit to greater heights.

I hope that the kind of passion and dedication which I have might just rub off on those around me. And hopefully, one day, I will be able to see the fruits of our labour. All the effort each and every member of this family has put in. Down from the OC Unit. To the cadets we will recruit next year. In our onward, and upward, strive for excellence.

Sometimes, I just wish I could channel the same amount of passion and dedication into my studies. Mediocre at best, I am extremely ill-prepared for the strenuous requirements of next year. Advanced Level. It is just going to be a crazy ride. But I know that I can trust God to bring me through it all.

Christmas is just around the corner. Being the biggest celebration of the year, I am definitely looking forward to the next two weeks. Fully scheduled. Thoroughly fulfilling.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
7:24 pm

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Monday, December 12, 2005

An Introduction

As you may have noticed, I began this blog back in October this year. I began wanting a fresh start and to mark down special events or circumstances in my life. However, I have decided to take an unprecedented step to delete my previous posts on this blog. I am embarking on a new phase of my life and thus the need to start all over, once again. Thus, the formation of my fourth weblog.

"joie de viv-re" is French for The Joy of Life, which i believe is pretty much ironic. Everything is so painful right now. I am hurting, wishing I never emotionally invested so much in a relationship. However, I do acknowledge the fact that it is, and possibly will be the best for the both of us. The way it happened, did leave much to be desired though. Now that the dust has settled and we both close this chapter of our lives, I guess all that is left is for me to wish her all the best in her future endeavours. As for myself, the memories will be bittersweet. Many special moments, some painful ones. But as I have remarked to others in the past, whether we like it or not, we are just going to have to accept the situations we have been put in and make the best out of them. Rather than to sulk and grasp at what has been lost.

Nevertheless, I hope that like the theme and title of this blog, I can celebrate what life has in store for me to the fullest, embracing both the bliss and pain as they will emerge in my life. 2 quotes which i previously found, and i thought was very meaningful.

Everyday we make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before us an ever lengthening, ever ascending, ever improving path. We know that we will never get to the end of the journey. But this, far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

Perseverance is about how high we bounce, when we have hit rock bottom.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:36 pm

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