joie de viv-re

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Having the strength to get up, when we fall.

Today was one of those few days when I returned home from training feeling drained. Not so much physically. But more so emotionally. The reasons though, I would definitely keep them to myself. For me, today was a setback, but also a chance to reevaluate my commitment to the unit. I felt like giving up. Just throwing away all the responsibilities which come with my rank. Yes. My rank has the word 'Cadet' in front of the 'Inspector'. Nothing like the 9 months Officer Cadets go through in their National Service before they get commissioned.

But it has been my dream, and my passion to see my unit amongst the best. That expectation of both myself and the people in my unit will never change. Whether we have a bad day or not. I am just going to work harder, to ensure I graduate knowing that I had done my best. I guess, I can only do my part, the rest will be left to the people around me. Today, was the best example of the Instructors fighting for the unit, which did not want to fight for itself. Disappointing, yet true.

Moving on, it is barely one week away from the new year. Time has passed so quickly this year. Enjoying my time when I never did a piece of work. Skipped classes at random. But never really finding a true place in my new school. Never building the same kind of friendships I cherish. Maybe its the Junior College lifestyle. Maybe its the Nanyang culture. But I guess, most of all, it is me. The next year will be absolutely crazy. With the foundation for this year not built. It is going to be one journey I want to get through as quickly as possible.

With the new year in sight, it would be appropriate for me to list my resolutions for the year. Not that I think I would keep them though.

1) Study diligently. Studying has never been my passion and interest. And I have pretty much smoked through the pass 5 years of my academic life. But it would be a resolution not just because the Advanced Levels are coming, but also because God has given me this chance to study. And to study at this level. The only way I could do justice would be to study diligently. Much more easily said than done.

I had wanted to start on number two. But, I think I will keep to just one. If i can fulfill this resolution, it would please me greatly. The ball is in my court. To cherish, or to regret for a lifetime.

Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:49 pm

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