Wednesday, August 29, 2007
O Lord, Thou art my King, [Chorus] He Knoweth the way that I take; O Lord, Thou art my life, O Lord, Thou art my all,
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Its going to be a long, challenging 34 days away from home. Where I'm going, they tell us is confidential, and should not be discussed. What I can say is that, we have 29 long days of training, 4 days of rest and recreation and 1 for the flight back. I haven't been apart from my family for a maximum of 14 days, so this time its the raw deal. All this, so that we will pass out on 12 October 2007 as Specialists capable to lead our men in future. The days ahead are uncertain, yet, there is a positive optimism that its going to be fun, as much as I'm going to be homesick. I've seen pictures from my brother's trip there, and the scenery that stretches out before us is pretty breath-taking. Countless people have told me that our destination is probably one of the best we can be at. The shopping should be good, if the unpredictable weather holds up during our R&R. The food, should be good enough to make you forgo their replicas back here in Singapore.
As much as this trip forces me out of my comfort zone, leaves me without the support of my parents and before me lays so many uncertainties. Of holding appointments and taking the lead. Of learning the ropes of becoming a future commander. Of being alert and vigilant whilst fatigue sets in. Of keeping a cool head amidst the tempers.
I just hope to keep a positive mindset. And trust God that He will be there for me, every step of this journey. Afterall, as the following song (one of my favourites) writes, God knows the way which we take. And we just have to leave it to Him. I hope this trip will also help me to review my backslidden Christian life.
He Knoweth the Way
Mac Lynch
And who am I to question Thy way?
Whatever the loss, whatever the cost,
Draw me closer to Thee everyday.
A new heart within He’ll create.
That I may walk worthy and come forth as gold,
He giveth and taketh away.
And who am I to understand why
You died on a tree for a sinner like me?
Lord, to self make me willing to die.
And who am I to walk without Thee?
My sin I forsake, Thy cross I will take-
Now thy servant, dear Lord, make of me.
To all who will be having examinations, especially to Baby and my younger sister, all the best and study real hard!
I'm certainly looking forward to the next time I'm back here. But until then,
Take care and God Bless!
John.
Edit: I love you Baby! I'm going to miss you lots! Take good care of yourself alright. =)
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
2:55 pm
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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Is the time I have left, I don't wish to go but I have to. Feeling homesick before even leaving. Sigh.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:51 pm
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Sunday, August 26, 2007
Today I ran the 12 km non-competitive run. It was pretty cool, running on a route which you usually travel on only on car. It was tiring, but it was fun nonetheless. Grabbing cups of water and pouring it over my head to cool my body down, then having the liberty to dump the cups anywhere along the running route. It was almost as though we were professional runners. Hah. We ran on Sheares bridge and Nicoll highway, but it did come at the cost of lots of sleep, and I promptly returned home with a headache after meeting the guys. And stuffing myself during the ala carte Dim Sum buffet we went for.
Over the past week, there have been nights that I stayed awake, slightly scared by the possibility of being in a foreign land for such an extended period. Knowing how homesick I will be, wonder how I will feel when I part with my family at Changi International Airport. And having morbid thoughts of.
What if I never make it home.
Afterall, 3 of them never did in May this year when the plane crashed into the camp. I supposed, that incident would be a one-off. But so many things can happen. And, I wondered if somethings I did, could I have done them for the last time? I guess I'm just getting a little carried away. But if it was really the last time, there would be so many things I regretted doing or not doing.
I would probably regret not spending enough time with my family.
I would probably regret the 2 months I spent apart from you.
I would probably regret the nasty remarks I used on so many people, baby especially.
I would probably regret not being able to make one last visit to see my 2 baby cousins whom I absolutely adore.
I would probably regret not catching up with many friends over the past year.
I would probably regret not buying the tee shirt I saw at Instant Karma.
I would probably regret not eating the Roti John at Simpang Bedok which Lime magazine raved about.
I would probably regret not being able to fellowship with my church members one last time before leaving.
Something I won't probably regret, but will instead definitely regret. Would be taking God so lightly in my life. And only seeking Him when I'm down.
3 days to my departure. More importantly, 36 days till my return!
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:21 pm
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Saturday, August 25, 2007
If you've watched this, its pretty amazing how a 6 year old girl can sing so well. I don't know if she eventually won the competition, but, I guess sometimes watching this kind of inspirational moments just proves that the sky's the limit. And there's something special in each of us.
Received some news yesterday, about myself holding an appointment during our overseas training. Its going to be challenging, and funnily, in my entire NS life I haven't held an appointment before. But, I'm looking forward, and hope to do a good job. I want to be among the special few on the day of our POP, and do something my dad can be proud of.
Its still something that daunts me, and I do wonder how am I going to cope with 33 days away from home. If it was a holiday, I probably wouldn't feel it too much. But as of now, I don't even know how and when will I be able to call home. It'll be a mini trial for me, but I'll come through it with God's grace. Until then, I hope that I can spend as much time with my family and baby till I fly off on the coming Thursday morning. I'll be counting down every single day then.
Because, home is where my heart is.
Edit: It was nice to know that the Cadet Inspectors are invited for the upcoming Teachers Day Dinner. Its good that the school recognise people who put in their time and effort for the unit and for the school. Coincidentally, that'll be my first night overseas. Wonder if it'll be like when I was in BMT last December, tossing and turning in bed finding it impossible to sleep in the alien surroundings. I need the strength to go through this.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:11 am
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Friday, August 17, 2007
The week that just passed and the one coming, were supposed to be filled with field training. To familiarise us with the doctrine and tactics of the Armour formation. And to be honest, as compared to infantry, its many times more fun and exciting. Taking the vehicles out. Managing the weapon systems, guiding the driver, and fumbling with our voice procedure. But for the first time, we actually had our training cut. Only to realise to much shock, and disappointment. That our overseas trip is extended by 10 days, which means I'll be away for the entire month of September. I haven't taken the change really well, but in the end.
I do not have a choice. It's going to be tough to say goodbye in 12 days time.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:11 pm
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Thursday, August 09, 2007
I finally achieved an IPPT Gold. Its my first for physical fitness in my life. So its sweet. It also means I'm $200 richer, although most of that money has already been spent on the Asics shoes. The ironic thing though, was that I forgot to bring the shoes in for my actual IPPT test on Tuesday. Anyway, I managed a personal best of 9 minutes and 5 seconds. Which means I'll have a special certificate for meeting the Gold standards set for Guardsmen and Physical Training Instructors. Sweet.
Anyway, went to Cathay to catch Secret, the new Jay Chou movie with a special someone. Haa. It was so similar to The Lakehouse, such a coincidence I would say. 2 shows about love, but both with the leads living in a different time. I really enjoyed the time we spent together over the past 2 days and I'm so glad to have your presence back in my life. I'm sure we'll manage to sort our differences out, one by one. It's been an amazing 2 weeks, going out with you and us spending time together again. Love!
It has also been wonderful to clear my SOC and IPPT tests over the past 2 weeks, allowing me to focus on field training and striving to become a decent commander in future. I've got live firing coming up this Saturday, which means another burnt weekend. I'm going to be really busy since I'm taking over as Armskote IC. I'm relishing the challenge and the responsibilities which come with it though. On the heels of live firing will be 2 full weeks of field training, the segment where tempers are lost. And you are pushed out of your comfort zone. Well, there's a price to pay for the black beret on our heads and the Sergeant chevrons we'll wear in 9 weeks time.
I cannot wait.
But for now, its time to book in once again. Same old shit, once again.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
7:29 pm
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Sunday, August 05, 2007
This is a catchy song by Enrique Iglesias which I've been listening to over the past week. This will be the last relaxed week before we move on to field training, something I tend to dread. But its good that we're another week closer to completing our course as well. Live firing is on this Saturday, which means another partially burnt weekend. Thank goodness for the timing of National Day.
I hope we managed to clarify some of our doubts and I'm definitely looking forward.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
5:32 pm
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Friday, August 03, 2007
I passed my SOC today with a timing of 9.24minutes! Its another personal best, which means I'm a happy boy. Which also means I'm part of the reason why my Section Instructor is a happy man (my entire section passed), and my encik is a happy man too. Which equates to booking out an hour early today. It was my last SOC for the year.
Smiles.
Edit: Carlos Tevez is going to be a Manchester United player next week!
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:20 pm
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Thursday, August 02, 2007
Its been sometime since I last cooked a packet of instant noodles in the wee hours of the morning. Being in the army has made me appreciate the many small things in life I take for granted. Like warm showers, especially after freezing in the shower through the past week, since the weather has been really cold. Gone are the days when one of the first things I did would be to flip to the Sports section of the Straits Times. Nowadays, I hardly even know what goes on outside of my life. About how the hostage situation in Iraq has progressed. Or the recent developments in our country. And I was pretty disappointed to discover that I'll be missing the Community Shield match this Sunday and the Premiership openers next Saturday. I need my weekly dose of EPL action!
I've been doing so much running in the past 2 weeks, my legs are just worn out. And my shin hurts. But, everything would be worthwhile. If I pass my SOC come Friday. I can do it!
...I hope...
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
12:31 am
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