Its been one year since that special day isn't it, although we've been apart for almost 2 months now. For myself, it has been a difficult period, waking up everyday realising you're no longer there. Finishing a long day in camp, without anyone to call. Sometimes going to places and remembering the last time I was there, you were there with me. I can't remember when was the last time we had a special time to ourselves, or the last phone call before we started quarreling everyday. I wait every week for Friday, happy to read that you're doing okay, and to see that beautiful smile on the few pictures you post.


I miss the time when we studied together at Coffee Bean, although studying was the last thing on my mind.
I miss the both of us watching The Lakehouse together, and leaving the cinema confused about the show.
I miss the times when I met you after school to study at a certain Macdonalds.
I miss the eve of National Day when we were among the thousands of Singaporeans watching fireworks.
I miss the bus rides home, including the one after the fireworks when we were stuck at Marina for an hour.
I miss the days when I could message you after my tuition ended.
I miss the times when I could hold your hand.
I miss a certain bus 81.
I miss the moments spent at Punggol Park even before and during the midst of my A Levels.
I miss that special night spent at Esplanade although you were sick.
I miss the movie outings we had, when we had free tickets to any show we wanted to watch.
I miss the time we went fishing together, and you caught a huge stone fish and the rod bended inwards.
I miss the day you and my family sent me off at Pulau Tekong as I embarked on a new phase of my life.
I miss Christmas Eve and Christmas, seeing you after a 9 day absence.
I miss new year's day when you stayed over and my baby cousins came over the next day.
I miss calling you from camp, complaining about how everything is so screwed and how I wished to be home.
I miss reading your private blog.
I miss the times when we went shopping at Marina Square and Suntec.
I miss the hugs you gave me on the escalator.
I miss the dinners you had with my family.
I miss watching soccer matches together, either at the prata house or at my place, arguing whether Liverpool or Manchester was better.
I miss the time you celebrated my birthday and even my Ah Ma's bday.
I miss calling you my baby.


But most of all,


I miss your smile, your laughter. And the way you made me smile, and made me feel loved.


When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.
When you're gone, the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok.
Everything that I do reminds me of you.


I miss you.


If only you knew how much I loved you right from the start. If only you knew I had let go of my previous relationship. If only you knew I was serious about you, about us. If only you knew exactly how much you meant to me. Then maybe everything wouldn't have happened. If only...