Saturday, March 24, 2007
After much procrastination and delay, I've finally completed all the necessary submissions and payments for the scholarship and university applications. Just for the record, I placed Chemical Engineering first and Law second. I really hope I'd be called up for some scholarship interviews soon. Monday would mark a new chapter of my NS life, and I hope it will be a good one. I know I could have done much better in BMT, but its over. As for us, I guess today marks a new beginning.
I've no idea, why I went the course of Basic Military Training without reporting sick once. And in the space of 10 days of block leave, I've got fever thrice. Its not the best feeling when you have to report back to camp on Monday.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:09 pm
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Friday, March 23, 2007
My NRIC and date of birth keyed in, just awaiting the time for the clock to strike 1000hrs. It felt like being in NPCC all over again. When we stood on the parade square with bated breath, as the Officers read out the names with agonising slowness. I was hopeful of getting into Officer Cadet School, but it was not to be. I was posted instead to the School of Infantry Specialists. I firmly believe that getting into OCS is the true benchmark of one's leadership potential and capability, rather than what one can achieve in his CCA. Thus, the disappointment about failing to meet the cut is obvious. But I'll get over it in due time, and hope to do my best with what I've been given.
Edit: I think I'm a failure. =(
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:17 am
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Its my 200th post on this blog! Both today and yesterday was wasted away without much motivation to do anything from equipment maintenance. To bible study homework. Or making notes for my sister. And my brain is rotting away pretty badly and I even forgot how to write my Chinese name. I wonder what will be its condition by the time I enroll in university. Which brings me to this present dilemma. All along I thought I had set my heart on taking up Chemical and Bimolecular Engineering (CBE) at NUS. And I logged in to fill up the online application form. And for some reason went to select Law as my second choice. Catalysing this headache of not knowing which to place as first choice. I'm so scared I will ruin my future with a wrong decision. How?
I'm in bad need of going shopping! I know it kinda sounds weird for a guy to say this, but I have the urge to shop whenever I get money. Not that its much. I'm still on a recruit's allowance, and really hopeful that my next payday would be that of a cadet.
I'm confused and I'm tired. Wonder what does life hold in store for me.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:45 pm
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Monday, March 19, 2007
Its Monday and I'm at home. It was nice to be able to sleep till 9, wake up and do some packing before dropping back off into lalaland. Or even stoning in front of the computer with nothing to do. It definitely beats carrying close to 20kg on your poor shoulders walking around, or throwing medicine balls around. Or camouflaging yourself with the green surroundings. Even as the postings will be released on Friday, I'm not sure what do I want. I would still like to get into the exclusive Officer Cadet School, but something tells me that the journey one will have to embark on there is just so mentally challenging and tiring. But whatever will be, will be.
I'm really looking forward to that day when I can shout "ORD LOH!" When will it be my turn?
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
2:32 pm
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Saturday, March 17, 2007
Over the previous weekend, I changed my mind and had hoped to follow my family over to Malacca. However, I did not apply for the required leave and could not leave the country. Anyway, I was down for Annual Camp. And, another year has just passed. Was remarking to one of the Cadet Inspectors last night about one of the performances last year as we watched the talentime. There have been quite a number of changes in the unit, but in the end. I guess all of us just want and hope for the best for this unit. For myself, it was a good time to catch up with a couple of Instructors who have moved on. For the guys, serving the nation, and the girls working. As well as meeting up with our new Honorary Officer who was my Year Head when I first entered the unit. My hope is that even as the management of the unit undergoes a transition in the coming weeks, everyone will be motivated to serve and bring the unit further and higher, not only to begin well. But to end well.
Had quite an emotional chat with my mum afterwards. I didn't want to tell them about what happened before they left for Malaysia and spoil their trip worrying about me. It hurts, if only the pain would just go away.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:19 pm
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
This is my 197th post on this address. This blog started when I ended my previous relationship. I wanted a new address to start everything all over again. So that when I looked back on the archives, I wouldn't go think about what could have been. And as I approach my 200th post on this blog, there is just this great sense of deja vu. Like its all happening all over again. Maybe to begin with we have entirely different family backgrounds and upbringings. Different value systems and priorities. I'm sorry that I expect and demand alot, but that's just the way I am. Because throughout my entire life, almost everything has gone my way. And the people around me give in to my demands. In the end, I guess our characters just simply didn't complement. I went back to read through everything both of us blogged, and the memories are bittersweet indeed, but its all over. Everything's changed.
I hope the people around can just leave it and not question, because if I really wanted to talk about it with you I would.
I'm nursing a broken heart.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:26 pm
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Psst, guess who's no longer a chao recruit?
After 13 weeks on the beautiful island named Tekong, I'm now a Private! The feeling of dumping the rifles in the tonner, and then tossing our jockey caps into the sky. It may not be the biggest occasion you'll experience. But I do know that it is a milestone in the 2 years NS cycle I will serve. Being a recruit has been a rollercoaster experience. We are the botaks who wear uniform out of camp, and carry bags which look urm, just weird. We are the people who look at Sergeants and 2nd Leiutenants and say "WAH, one day I want to be just like you!" However, being a recruit means one is full of hope. Of where you may be one day. And that gives you the motivation to push yourself a little harder. To make that impression. I started off this journey hoping to make the cut for Officer Cadet School. I'm not so sure anymore. I'll learnt to be content with what God gives me when my posting is released next Friday, and hope to make the best of it. But for this 2 weeks, its time to catch up on my life. I've had enough of looking at camouflage everyday.
My Dad and Mum was there to grace the occasion for me. I'm sorry I couldn't do them proud by winning something. Just hope for better next time.
"Presenting to you, the trainnnnnnnnnnnnned soldiers!"
I wish this day could be happier. But in the end, it doesn't matter anymore. My heart is dead, like you once said.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:42 pm
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Sunday, March 11, 2007
The application for scholarships are giving me abit of a headache. Asking for a passport-sized photo which is 140x180 and less than 30kb. Or asking me to write about an exceptional achievement that highlights my academic interests. I doubt I'll get selected anyway. I'm just trying in hope of easing the burden of my parents. But it has been really frustrating meddling with all the different application forms.
Went over to both the NUS and SMU Open Houses held today. I'm interested to take up Chemical Engineering, I think my mind is more or less fixed. It does help that the starting pay is one of the higher ones around. The Open Houses were pretty disappointing. I expected alot more information and probably a more engaging experience. It was nice to meet friends from secondary school and JC though, together with all the botaks out from BMT.
2 more days till I leave the island I set foot on 3 months ago. Its been a long and tiring journey, but even as I complete this chapter of basic military training. I know there is so much more to come. And frankly, I cannot wait for it to be over. The day when I can leave, with my pink IC firmly in my hand.
That's still twenty-one sad months away.
Edit: Listen to the song on the left. Its Tears and Rain by James Blunt.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
4:48 pm
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Saturday, March 10, 2007
It hasn't been one of the best weeks. It was the first full week back in camp after a pretty good long break over the Chinese New Year season. To add to the joy, I managed to clear my IPPT on Monday, finally. One could sense the tangible sigh of relief when I did. It was time. We quarreled just now, and I guess the both of us need that bit of time to chill. It didn't help that I realised I missed the application dateline for the NUS scholarship which comes without a bond. Damn.
Its POP on Tuesday, but there really isn't anything to celebrate about.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:09 pm
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Sunday, March 04, 2007
Over the past 3 days, I've seen the most happy faces in my entire life. I feel so blessed to be placed where I am by God. Be it my immediate family. Extended family. Church. Or even CCA. I'm so thankful for all the well wishes both, before and after getting my results. For the wide smiles everyone gave me. It really means so much. For the people who waited beside their phones for myself or my parents to call them. For the prayers. I feel loved! =D I hope I repaid my parents a little bit of everything they have done for me and spent on me. I really, really hope to get that elusive scholarship, don't know how good my chances are though.
The results obtained on Friday have given me a bit of a pleasant headache. I'm not sure exactly what I would like to do now. All along the aim was probably to get into a mainstream university over choosing what course I would like to take. And all of a sudden the possibilities of doing popular undergraduate courses such as Law or doing a Double Degree seem so much closer to reality. But I think I would be sticking with Chemical Engineering at NUS although I will still be doing that bit of consultation and visiting of the Open Houses next weekend.
Thank You Lord.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
12:16 am
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Saturday, March 03, 2007
It was supposed to be a happy day, but it just had to happen.
Maybe I'm just not good enough for you.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
4:07 pm
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Friday, March 02, 2007
I'm still in shock. Awe. I guess never in my wildest dreams did I expect this. It was the most incredible, on-top-of-the-world feeling. I'm sorry if you are from somewhere else, and doing well means 4A's and 2 distinctions. Because this was one of the most incredible moments of my life. I guess when I expected Cats and Dogs (Cs and Ds) or at best an ABC. It hasn't really sunk in, and I'm still floating. I'm not sure my results will allow me to qualify for any local scholarships, but I'll try nonetheless.
Thank God, its been an amazing day. 020307.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:57 pm
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Thursday, March 01, 2007
But its too late to regret now.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:37 pm
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