Saturday, July 29, 2006
Haha, apparently my mum knows about us. Its funny how well she knows everyone of us, and nothing escapes her. But since she doesn't mind, I suppose it makes things that bit easier. =D
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:27 pm
(2) comments
Sorry for the lack in updates, to those who have visited my blog. I had quite a busy week. That being said, I think I will be having busy weeks all the way till my examinations end. The usual routine was there, studying, resting and feeling depressed over the amount of work I have to do. Went for training yesterday, and we met up twice this week. I don't wish to discuss or go into any details about us, because I guess its pretty sensitive. Just hope everything is going to work out. =D
Anyway, I was back in school yesterday, and something told me that the school is on the decline. With every trip back, the morale of the school seems to be dipping. And I firmly believe it is because of the lack of discipline. This has resulted in rampant hooliganism being present in the institute. I am appalled at the dramatic decline of the school, because everywhere I turn, I seem to be meeting people who seem more interested in bullying rather than education. Gangsterism is thriving, but no one is really bothered to address the problem. And its sad, because it would be a pity if one day I told people which secondary school I came from, and they looked at me with dismay. Moreover, how the students in the school are has a direct bearing on how our cadets will be, and that would be the most painful thing for me to accept.
As much as I had looked forward to my trip back to the unit yesterday, it was a pretty unusual experience. Because I am accustomed to being there to give out instructions, change things I dislike and so on. But, having left the unit, I decided my comments would be better kept to myself. One thought that I came away with was that for an organisation to succeed, everyone must be playing their part. And I see some fighting for the unit, putting in their best. But not everyone is. And its painful, when people complain over the smallest things. Coming through a time when the unit functioned without Instructor supervision, I know exactly what it means by a unit in anarchy. And what we have today is a far cry from then, but people do not appreciate it, because they have not seen worse. And they have been pampered, and when punishment and criticism come their way, instead of reflecting on where they could have gone wrong, they choose to blame. Blame it on everything and everyone, save for themselves. And they will only understand when they take over the reins of the unit, and their juniors give them the exact same shit they gave. And until they grow to be mature, I do not believe anyone should pamper or change to adapt them. Something I firmly believe in is that a good leader must not be someone who makes popular decisions. I said must. I think if everyone is happy with every decision you make, there is an extremely high probability that you are making popular but wrong decisions. I just look at my present principal. He may be way below my previous principal in terms of popularity, but I am pretty sure my present school is on its way up the ladder, both in terms of image and results. As a leader, one must be prepared to make good decisions, not popular ones. Popularity and likeability are but just bonuses.
Two quotes which I found, and I find very meaningful, and relevant to myself. They are objectives which I strive to acheive for myself.
When discipline is present, it is evident. It is the precise control of every aspect of one's self. It is the bedrock of success.
Everyone gets knocked down, but the tough get up. Victory comes not from being the strongest or fastest, but the refusal to give up.
Stay happy everyone, never give up.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
6:48 pm
(2) comments
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
But if you're planning to catch the show I mentioned in my previous posts, please don't. It was absolute rubbish.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
10:41 pm
(3) comments
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Have been talking to quite a number of people serving National Service. Quite a number, my brother, cousin, church members and other Cadet Inspectors. And its really interesting when they relate their personal accounts of their own unique NS experience. And depending on who you choose to listen to, NS can be a life altering time, or the most depressing point of their lives to date. And with my own looming up close, I suppose its time to start worrying, and start appreciating the comfort of my life as a civilian now. Half of me tells me to be excited because it will be a whole new lifestyle, and the other half tells me to be worried because of the exact same reason.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:43 pm
(6) comments
I went for my tuition this morning, and yeah, it costs a staggering $70 dollars per hour, calculated to the minute I step in and out of the study room. I am going to study hard and make sure I earn big bucks next time! Shit, it sucks lah. To know that my parents have to pay these kind of money just because I did not study. Yeah, approximately 3 more months, but I still don't feel the motivation. Sigh. I guess this is the side of me that I have been struggling with since I entered JC. I know what's required of me but I just cannot bring myself to do it. And I think its even more painful for my family when they see me not studying and cannot do anything about it. Yeah, because I am a stubborn and I believe that every single thing I do is correct.
Oh yes, before I forget, the music player was done by Daniel. I hate these kind of coding stuff or whatever you call it, so now people who wish to listen to the songs I like can do so, while those who don't can don't. I am confusing myself too, but I guess you could figure my tone today is pretty upbeat and high, how things can change so drastically.
Looking forward to next week, hopefully it'll be great. Or greater.
You, I would like to give my whole heart to.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
12:02 am
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Friday, July 21, 2006
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:50 pm
(2) comments
A love that has no limits. Make my dream come true.
Go view the trailer at the address below, it releases in a week's time.
http://thelakehousemovie.warnerbros.com/
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
12:44 pm
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:03 pm
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
This is my hundredth post on this blog, and I thought it would be written reflective of its title. Well, at least I hoped it would be. But I suppose, it was not to be, and it could not be more different. The past few days were spent on an emotional rollercoaster. Not knowing what to expect, yet ever so hopeful that it would turn out well. And I subconciously allowed my hopes to soar. I seriously saw the both of us together. Now that its taken away, its so painful. It hurts deep down. It really does. Its difficult to like someone, even harder to forget the person.
And I still wish you would reconsider. Yeah, shoot me.
This feeling sucks.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:14 pm
(3) comments
Monday, July 17, 2006
Everything is really just getting to me. I just pray for a respite amidst the storm.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:06 pm
(2) comments
Friday, July 14, 2006
For quite a long time now, I was comtemplating on whether I should use pictures on my blog. And after leaving comment moderation off for more than a month now, I figured my audience was probably mature enough, and thus, I could feel a little less restricted when it came to blogging. Apparently, I was to be wrong cause someone left a really insensitive comment on the last post, the worst part being that rather than targeting me, the person instead decided to insult my 2 precious and innocent baby cousins.
Anyway, my Middle Year Examination results are as follow:
Physics: F
Chemistry: C
Mathematics: B
GP: C5
Other than physics, I was pretty pleased with the results I got, although it did pale in comparison to my other classmates. But I will just have to carry on, fearing the worst yet hoping for the best.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
3:23 pm
(10) comments
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
11:20 pm
(7) comments
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
9:44 pm
(0) comments
Monday, July 10, 2006
I know everyone is busy snoozing away now, but I could not be more awake. Didn't have school today as it was our marking day. I don't know whether to pity the poor students who were probably trying their best not to nod off time and again today, or the teachers who have to carry on teaching despite a class of partially awake students. But I thought this year's World Cup would sadly be remembered for many wrong reasons. Top of the list being the play acting, diving and simulation by so many players across board. It was really sad to see players going down at the slightest hint of contact and not getting up till the referee administered the punishment. The poor taste of sportsmanship, or rather the lack of it. But as usual, the greatest sporting spectacle on the earth after the Olympics, did provide those wonderful moments that sometimes just took my breath away.
I wish to,
Make flying saves and acrobatic stops like Gigi Buffon.
Race down the right flank yet be steady in defence like Gianluca Zambrotta.
Marshall the defence expertly and lead the team by example like Fabio Carnavaro.
Work tirelessly and never give up like John Terry.
Put in hard tackles together with an amazing work ethic down the left flank like Juan Pablo Sorin.
Tease and trick with the twinkle toes of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Scamper around the park and spray passes like Andrea Pirlo.
Stroke the ball ever so elegantly and gracefully like Zinedine Zidane.
Be calm and collected in keeping the ball, yet able to change the course of the game with a sublime pass like Juan Riquelme.
Run at defences with such confidence and trickery like Carlos Tevez.
Terrorise defences with excellent heading and striking of the ball like Luca Toni.
I really wished that this year's tournament would be a tad more interesting, and I thought Germany versus Argentina would have been the perfect spectacle. Neither did I wish that Zidane had to bow out the way he did. I had watched a compilation of his entire career, the special moments he crafted. And he really was the most complete player of the generation. I really do hope that people would remember the many moments of brilliance though it would forever be tainted with that one moment of temper.
It is back to school and back to reality tomorrow. After going one and a half month without any lessons. The examination is just so close by, and I really don't know how I will fare. I just got a Physics tuition teacher, and she is charging a whooping $70 per hour. I guess, that is the consequence of not studying- my poor parents will have to pay so much. And it leaves me in no position to get a pair of streetsoccer shoes had craved.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
6:34 pm
(1) comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Was taking an afternoon nap just now, since there was no school and I had zero motivation to do anything. And I don't know to call it a dream or nightmare, but I started thinking about army life. And the dream was definitely pretty dumb, cause I know nothing about the army, but something I recall was that we had to go for swimming lessons??! Really weird, the things I dream of. Some other day it was about a secondary school classmate and a present classmate.
Had a boring past few days. Throughout the past week, I have really acheived nothing, absolutely nothing of note. Although the examinations ended only on thursday, mine effectively ended a week before. I don't know why, but motivation to do anything was grounded firmly at zero, and I think I floated around a lifeless being. My listlessness for the entire week could be summarised by today, I got up, had breakfast. Used the net to blog-hop and update myself on the latest soccer news. And fell into bed for a nap. Got up, had lunch. Used the net to blog-hop and update myself on the latest soccer news. And fell into bed for a nap. Yeah, that's why I am still awake at this hour.
I screwed up the 2 exams this week. I had all the time in the world to study, but I didn't make use of it, so I guess I deserve this shit I am in. I sincerely thought I had the chance to get an A for my chemistry, but after Tuesday's papers, I don't think so anymore. And this was in spite of the fact that the teachers were pretty nice not to include Reaction Kinetics and Ionic Equilibria, the 2 most dreaded topics on my list. Physics was worse. I am totally ashamed of myself. Never have I been more ill-prepared for an exam then this time round. I dared not look at my Physics tutor when he came round to collect the scripts. And its just going to get worse next week. I almost dread the 2 hour physics tutorial next Tuesday.
I really feel lost, I don't know where to get help for Physics. I desperately need it. My goal for the Advanced Levels are ABC, which can hopefully secure a decent course? Now, the bigger problem is actually acheiving ABC. It is not that difficult to get that, but for an idiot like me who wasted away one half years, it is a mountain to climb. But if anyone out there reading this knows of a decent physics tuition teacher who charges affordable fees, do recommend to me.
As for now, I shall enjoy this weekend to the fullest, and leave all the troubles for next week.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
1:11 am
(3) comments
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Secondary 2s
Secondary 1s
Secondary 1s during swearing in ceremony.
That's their favourite shirt I believe.
The most successful Secondary 1 Recruitment Drive ever.
They were apparently very proud of something. I don't know is it the Corporal rank, or their drill badge. They are our NCOs okay.
I still cannot understand why they call it the capsize drill, when the boat was perfectly stable but one had to jump in.
Apparently, everytime they saw us on the kayak, they wanted to splash water.
What's this called? Viking? I forgot.
I wonder if a dragonboat ever capsized before...
I don't think I have ever seen them happier- they must love the sights, smells and taste of kallang river.
Instructors during Annual Camp- see we were so nice to let them throw water bombs at us.
Instructors during CCA Orientation
Yups, that is the Zhonghua NPCC Unit family. I am going to miss everything.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:59 pm
(7) comments
I think the really unorthodox sleeping patterns over the last one month is really taking its toll. My head is spinning and for the first time, it didn't go away after taking a nap. That day during soccer I fell, and injured my tailbone. And so there was pain when I was like sitting down. Ok lah, not too sure if that's the tailbone, but its the place where the bottom of the spine meets the buttcrack? Yeah, that.
I am really looking to our match next week, if there's one I suppose. Mixing excitement and hunger to win with cautious reminders of how everything can just go so wrong.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
2:49 am
(2) comments
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Watching the World Cup 2006 quarterfinals over the past 2 days has been frustrating. The 2 teams that I supported and had hoped to see in the final, both got knocked out. But that was not the only frustrating thing. What made it worse was the many instances of play acting. When Germany played Argentina, someone sent the ball in from a corner kick. And all of a sudden, the ball was cleared and Ballack was lying in a heap, clutching at his face. Replays followed and there had been no contact, but on seeing the ball and his team's chance fly past him, he decided to fall thearitically on the ground. If you were German, would you respect him. Should he lead his team on to World Cup glory in a week's time. Players roll around in great agony and stand up immediately once the referee produces a yellow or red card. It disgusts me totally that players have the mentality that winning is everything. If it means injuring someone to ensure you win the game, then you better do it. I play soccer myself, and I know exactly how sweet the feeling of winning is. Yes, I may not be playing competitive football, less so representing my country. But nevertheless, everytime I play I want to win, and I fight hard to do so. But when I do foul the opponent by kicking at his leg, I do not require a referee. I return the ball. I did it when we played that game in May, although I was desperate to prove myself. But why are professionals acting so childishly. These people who command so much respect from me for their amazing ability to play the game are the exact same ones who practice rampant gamemanship. Do the ends of being a World Cup winner justify the means by which you get there?
I was having Sunday school today. And the lesson was on God's instruction versus our Personal Interest. And I know I have always seen my own interests as of greater importance, relegating God's instructions to being the back up plan. Or even the last resort. And there was this church friend of mine. He was sharing about his personal experience. At the tender age of 12, his parents underwent a divorce, and his parents were given joint custody of him. This custody would last until he was 15 years, when he would have the autonomy to decide which of his 2 parents he wished to follow. And he determined in his heart to endure the 3 years, afterwhich he could ensure that his father was out of his life. And when he finally reached 15, it was a dream come true, being able to finally leave his dad. But in God's Word, it is stated as a Ten Commandment that we should Honour our Fathers and Mothers. And he made the painful decision of continuing to let his father have joint custody of him.
And I really admire him. He may not be in a good school. Neither is he wealthy or whatsoever. But he knows what it means to sacrifice his personal interest to ensure that he aligns himself to God's instruction. And I frequently struggle with this. Even a simple command such as Honouring my parents, I have great difficulty obeying. I never fail to covet that new gadget of clothing. And so much more. But there are others who despite having to make other greater sacrifices, still wholeheartedly follow God's instruction. And I am ashamed. Because I have been a Christian since young, but I have reached no where near where he has gone.
And there was also a time of sharing on what do we struggle with. And i told my group that I struggle everytime science practicals or SPA, come along. Because everyone knows what is going to come out. They share the information. And as much as I know how important this examination is to my A Level results, I know that it would certainly not please God. Because it is cheating. And it really appalls me when I tell others not to find out the questions, they retort me as though they had the right to know. That since everyone in school knows, why shouldn't they. I know of people who bring in calculators with formulas scribbled down in pencil. And I guess, its all about do the ends justify the means and, are we doing things for our personal interest, or abiding by God's instructions.
I do not profess to be perfect, I am just sharing some of the things I struggle with. I do have my own faults. The things I preach but do not practice. And after quoting 2 examples of the World Cup and studies, finally something most controversial yet close to my heart. NPCC. And since I have since left the organisation, I guess it would not matter.
Over the past one and a half years in NPCC, I have really struggled. For me, a person who has risen to the ranks of a Cadet Inspector should be someone with integrity. More so when it comes to units, organisations managed by people known as Instructors and Officers. And I have learned to my horror that not many have space for integrity. It is not a priority. It has become an ideal. "Good if you have, doesn't matter if you don't. Just ensure the results are there." And I have never been the best Cadet Inspector. I have never been a commander in NPCC Day parade or SYF. Never really acheived anything noteworthy. Such as bringing a unit to Gold Award. Or whatever other achievements. But I have always conducted myself in a way where integrity comes above all. I do not lie when people ask me about kayaking without qualifications. I do not lie just so my buddy can be in the same activity with me during ATC. I do not send cadets for classification shoot twice, so that they can enhance their shooting techniques for the competition. When it has been explicitly stated that an NPCC cadet should only participate in one throughtout their term. And I must say, these people have become successful. They hold excellent reputations across board. They fare really well in competitions. They are widely respected. But they have no integrity. And this is one thing I will never regret leaving NPCC for. All the silly politicing, and lack of integrity.
I suppose, its time units and instructors reflect. And redefine our priorities. Because the ends have never justified the means. And it never should. Not in an organisation such as NPCC which upholds the core value of integrity.
P.S. Please read the entire article thoroughly before jumping to conclusions. I have mentioned no names of any organisations and people. However, if you feel that tinge of guilt from reading this, then I suppose rather than leaving an angry comment, the time is ripe for a change.
Reminiscence the past, cherish the present, look forward to the future with hope.
8:08 pm
(6) comments
